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I met my own subconscious mind

My second hypnotherapy weight loss session happened on Tuesday, and OMG was it crazy – I actually met my own subconscious mind!

Uh-huh, freaky isn’t it? Not quite as freaky as it was on Tuesday evening though, when in a state of profound hypnosis Kevin the hypnotherapist summoned forth my subconscious and got he/she/it on board with getting me back into a size 10.

Ok, maybe 12.

But … wowzers. I mean, I had no idea what was coming! At one point I got a bit hot and swirly and thought I was going to be sick (although whether or not you can actually be sick while hypnotised I’m not too sure).

It was all a bit like being 15 again and doing ouija boards. Except without a gang of screaming teenage girls and the fear of someone walking in. Certainly, I see now that my first session was a light introduction, to give me the confidence to be able to cope with the second.

So how have I been since that first session, I hear you clamouring to ask.

Of course, I would begin a course of hypnotherapy just as my life goes into meltdown. My sweet precious lurcher Foxy hasn’t been very well recently. I don’t want to go into details as she seems to be improving, thank goodness, and I don’t want to give what has happened the reality of talking about it. But looking after her, worrying about her, trying to manage two very different walks for two dogs etc etc has thrown the whole week off.

Loads of other things happened last week, too – I just can’t remember any of them now. I don’t know about you but when one of your animals is not quite right everything else just seems to fade.

So it probably wasn’t the best week to be starting a new weight loss challenge and spending time setting goals, prepping food etc.

But as I wonder now, does hypnotherapy weight loss work, I have definitely noticed 4 main differences during the week:

  • I ate less on the whole, and food became slightly less important (most of the time).
  • On several days I replaced at least one meal with an Exante product.
  • I got the urge several times to cook good, proper, healthy food, which I did. I made a couple of lentil dishes which lasted me a few days and I really enjoyed eating their filling goodness.
  • My stomach, which I felt shrinking during the session, continued to pull itself in whenever I thought about it for the next few days, and actually just did again then as I typed that line.

So on Tuesday evening I had two requests for Kevin.

I want to choose Exante Diet products first!

Firstly, I asked him to add a request for enjoyment of and total satisfaction from Exante Diet products as part of my immediate weight removal and long term weight management. I really enjoy most Exante products, and I can imagine replacing one meal a day with an Exante product as a way to keep my weight down long term, it’s just that I get tempted by other things instead, namely toast.

I wanted to cut my sugar cravings!

Secondly, he asked in the first session if I had cravings. I said yes, for everything, rather vaguely. During the course of the week I had noticed that after eating, for example, a large bowl of lentils, the sugar monster appeared and I would seriously have KILLED for something sweet, probably cake.

In fact, it was so bad that on Tuesday afternoon I succumbed to the local shop and bought a slice of pineapple cake. Mmmmmm mmmm mmmm it was delicious. And satisfying. And the craving left. And maybe, just maybe, before trying weight loss hypnotherapy, maybe that craving would have hung around even despite the cake.

Sooooo, to fail to cut a long story short, I asked him to help stop the sugar cravings. So we did this exercise in which I thought of something I hated (black pudding) and then morphed it into sugar. While holding my thumb and forefinger. It’s too early to say if it has worked or not, but as of yet I have not craved a single item of the sweet stuff.

And so on to my hypnosis.

It’s so hard to describe what happens to you when you are under hypnosis, because you’re not really aware of everything. But after putting me under, and drifting me deeper and deeper down, he invited my subconscious to come forward.

He gave my subconscious two fingers to signal yes or no. And then he began questioning my subconscious. I don’t remember everything, but I do recall him asking at what age my current habits started. 25-30 was the reply. Which, I later worked out, was uncannily, dizzyingly accurate.

Aged 25 I got my dream job in television and moved to York to work for a production company based there. I lived at 112 Haxby Road and almost directly opposite was a video rental shop, Blockbusters. You may remember Blockbusters (if you’re old enough!) although it went out of business many years ago now. But in the 90s the internet, in fact, life as we know it today, was still very much in its infancy, and videos were still very much in use.

One other thing that Blockbusters sold, from a freezer display near the counter, was Haagen Dazs ice cream. I barely knew what Haagen Dazs was at that point, but one of the girls in the shared house introduced me to the Strawberry Cheesecake flavour. I don’t think I had ever had anything so delicious in my whole life, and I started doing something I had never, ever done before – buying ice cream and eating it from the tub. I didn’t do it all the time, of course, but it was the start, for me, of luxurious, high-calorie food being something I could eat as often as I liked.

I worked long, crazy hours in that job, regularly in the office until after midnight, and coming home to nice snack food (especially that I hadn’t made myself) became a thing, no doubt setting up the habits that have come back to bite me on my considerably larger behind all these years later.

My Subconscious Knows Me Too Well!

I’ve got to hand it to my subconscious though, he/she does have a sense of humour. Kevin was asking if he/she would support me on my new lifestyle, and he/she was tapping away with the yes finger enthusiastically.

He then asked if this hypno gastric band is actually what I want. I remember a pause, waiting to find out which finger would twitch. I have to admit to a sense of pride when the no finger jerked. After he brought me round I giggled over this with Kevin. My subconscious fully appreciates the battles that lie ahead. My subconscious is very aware that deep down I want to eat everything and still get thin.

Overall though, he did a great re-setting. The freakiest moment came at the end, when he thanked my subconscious and asked he/she to go back, making sure all the parts that needed to go back did so, in their correct places. It felt like the creatures of the night returning to the darkness as the first rays of sunlight touched the sky. Freeeeeeeeeeeky.

But, 48 hours on, something amazing happened.


As of today I am three pounds down (from before the first session, I didn’t weigh myself at all last week). My eating has reduced massively. I am not quite craving, Exante products, but I am really looking forward to them and feel very satisfied after.

So both days I’ve eaten one ‘normal’ meal and the rest has been Exante. I’ve just finished the day with the sweet and sour noodles and my stomach feels full and round.

Walking around though, my stomach feels flat again and happy to be more empty.

Not only that, yesterday I re-downloaded my workout vids on itunes (had to go back to factory settings on laptop so all has gone into meltdown since) and actually did a Davina Super Body Workout, in the conservatory, in the dark so no one could watch me struggle. This used to be my go-to easy workout but I found it so much harder than before it was quite scary – I have lost a lot of fitness this summer – I lost my confidence with exercise, my sports bra is too tight and I just got out of it, so I’m hoping a week of home-workouts will get me back on it and make it easier to start something else.

Next week will be my third hypno gastric band session and I will get to ‘meet’ my surgeon. I don’t know if the gastric band is actually ‘going in’ or if that is the final week, but now I am really looking forward to it. I almost feel confident enough to be able to think about setting some goals. I have a couple of dates I want to aim towards and be slimmer by, and I actually feel like that could happen now.

My video on all this is still uploading, but I’ll add the link in the morning (assuming it doesn’t blow up YouTube overnight).

Until then, adios amigos!! There is less of me than there was!

Here’s the clip ๐Ÿ™‚




Change your life Exante diet Hypno gastric band Weight loss

Hypno Gastric Band!

OMG – I’VE agreed to do it – the hypno gastric band!

In other words, I’m having gastric band surgery – in my mind. It’s all going to happen through hypnotherapy.

So just to recap, I met Kevin the hypnotherapist a few months ago at a networking event, we had a chat and he told me about the hypno gastric band, which he had had and then lost two stone (28 lbs) as a result.

I’ve never had hypnotherapy but I know people who have had success with hypnotherapy for smoking etc so it has stayed at the back of my mind for possibly helping me shed a few pounds. (And then, hopefully quite a few more!)

In October I have two events coming up – one is a reunion of old work colleagues and the other is I am going to take over as President of our local BNI group. The most hilarious thing ever as I never thought of myself as President material, but hey ho it’s happening!

I’ve piled loads of weight on over the summer – a mix of laziness, the heat, sitting at my computer, eating my stress away, and then just flippin eating – so it is definitely time to do something about it. I saw some photos of me recently when I did a presentation at another networking group and I looked bl**dy awful. I really don’t want to be presenting our business looking awful and I hate seeing myself look enormous on my YouTube channel.

So, if this Project Life is to be a Success, that has to include my Health as well as my Wealth!

I spoke to Kevin and frankly could not decide between these options:

1. Join a group session

2. Have some ‘normal’ hypnotherapy sessions targeting cravings etc

3. The hypno gastric band

The group sessions were cheaper but frankly I’m not too excited at the thought of talking about my failings to a group of strangers (although I’m happy to broadcast it to the world – how odd!)

The ‘normal’ sessions went a bit downhill when he started to ask what cravings I get. Apparently it’s hard to pin down ‘everything’.

I tried to explain that I wanted to be able to stick to my favourite diet – Exante – but he started going on about how diets don’t work, etc, how it’s best to make a lifestyle change etc. When as most overweight people know, if the lifestyle change was that flipping easy we would all have done it!

So I figured we wouldn’t get too far with that.

So… hypno gastric band it is!



I’ll report back!




Exante diet Positive action The Eternal Weight Battle! Weight loss YouTube vlog

Wait, what weight?

When I started this blog I really had no idea where it would go. I just had a feeling that documenting my journey to success (if it actually happened) would be a good idea.

A couple of years on now (amazingly!) and I still really enjoy keeping what is basically a public diary. There have been some really good times, and if you’ve been following recently you will have seen that there have been some REALLY good times in the last few weeks.

IE, I actually got paid. We actually have money in the bank. We have happy customers. Things are going well.

I can’t ever let myself relax of course but I think I can probably give myself a gentle pat on the back because the business – well, both the businesses actually, because we started one and then started another, are doing ok and starting to pick up a bit of traction. Of course, every day is still a school day and all that, but, y’know…

But I’ve always wanted my journey to be about more than business success. I want to achieve financial freedom (actually I want to achieve a whole lot more, but that’s for a different day) and I want a number of successful businesses, but I also want to be happy, healthy and able to enjoy life. And that means I need to lose weight and get fit.

And they are two areas I am definitely NOT succeeding in.

So I started this journey aged 40-ish with some pretty well-entrenched habits about food and rewarding behaviour. I use eating as stress relief. I have a HUGE capacity for food. I could probably eat you under the table, and then I would probably eat you. I have a weakness for buying food, even if I don’t really want it, and when I’ve bought it then I eat it, because I have to. My self-control is about the same strength as a daddy-long-legs’s leg.

Plus, I sit down most of the day, I somehow have got completely out of the habit of moving, and now most of my clothes don’t fit.

Guys, this is an EMERGENCY! I really don’t want to spend another Christmas looking like a fat blob.

A few months ago I met a hypnotherapist at a networking event and it’s been at the back of my mind ever since… what if…?

And so a cunning plan was formed. I’m going to give hypnotherapy for weight loss a go.

In the meantime one thing I’ve been doing even less frequently than running has been vlogging. I started my vlog planning to post partly about business, and partly about weight loss, but it’s ended up being mostly about my weight, and lack of loss. So I decided to start it again today. I mean, if you can’t share your weight with the world who can you share it with???!!




Change your life Exante diet The Eternal Weight Battle! Weight loss

The Long Weight

So yesterday, quite unexpectedly, something amazing happened.

Not world peace – sorry – in fact, nothing that momentous. But I did manage to stick to a diet for a whole 24 hours!

So, just a bit of background – I’ve always had what you might call a ‘minor argument’ with my weight – no battling gone on here! I knew that my erratic lifestyle with constant travelling and a total lack of routine wasn’t helping. Then In 2015 I lost loads of weight through the Cambridge Weight Plan, which was fantastic.

Slowly but steadily I ate it all back on and then two years later I discovered the Exante Diet. It was a cheaper alternative and for me it worked much better, mostly because the products are ordered online and come direct to your home With Cambridge you have to buy through a consultant who will also insist on weighing you. I found this slightly humiliating and there was just something that jarred for me on not being in control – although it does work for lots of people.

After discovering Exante I knew this was a great opportunity and last year set myself the goal to lose 44lbs at the age of 44.

I got halfway before falling off the wagon… and ever since then I’ve struggled to get back on. Subscribers to my Youtube channel will be aware of just how many attempts I’ve made and how many times I’ve then disappeared in shame.

But, it is now the middle of May 2018 and after six months spending long days sitting in front of the computer building our business I am in crisis – I literally have nothing to wear! I’m squeezing out of everything and I can’t afford nor do I want to buy more clothes! I’ve been feeling enormous and I’ve started to dread people taking photos of me.

We hired T to begin to manage the business and the bathrooms, leaving me to do the networking and being ‘the face’ of the business – so the least I can do is look halfway decent when I’m there.

Literally, this has become an emergency!

If I am to make a Success of my Life then that HAS to include my health and fitness.

So, back on Exante it is (I still happen to have a cupboard full of products so there is NO excuse) but I’ve struggled so many times to even make it halfway through day one. Yesterday, though, by some extreme freak event, I did manage it.

I weighed in at 13 stone 7lbs (189lbs) yesterday morning and this morning I’m an incredible 13 stone 2 lbs (although my scales are unreliable but, hey, any encouragement is a positive!)

So, we’ll see how far I get this time. My 45lbs weight reduction goal would take me down to about 10 stone 5 (145lbs) which may not be realistic but even around 11 stone (154lbs) would be fantastic.

And although posting it all over the internet and TO PEOPLE I ACTUALLY KNOW is the FREAKIEST thing ever, sometimes you’ve got to get the big guns out.

Here’s yesterday’s video (and you wouldn’t believe the lovely messages I’ve received from people. The internet is truly a wonderful thing!)








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Worth the Weight

I didn’t want to say anything too early, but I’ve just completed my first week back on the fantastic Exante Diet.

As part of my Project to develop a Successful Life, I am determined to make achieving a healthy weight a big part of it. And at the grand old age of 44, I decided to set my target at a reduction of 44lbs.

I lost 22 of those lbs a few months ago, documenting my progress on my YouTube channel. And then I lost focus and decided I would maintain for a while – yeah right – and got back into eating my own body weight on a regular basis, gaining 10 of those lbs back.

Plus, I’ve been so busy recently getting the business ready that I’ve almost forgotten what exercise is. Literally, hours of sitting at the computer, writing copy for the website, writing contracts, writing blog posts – or not! Even dog walks have been down to the bear minimum.

Last Sunday I woke up and just decided it was just time to get back on the Exante diet wagon. One of those unexpected but agreeable decisions that come from the feeling ‘enough is enough’.

This time, I decided I would record not just my weekly progress but daily – every mealtime in fact. That’s quite a commitment, as I discovered!

It’s also quite a lot of footage! Too much for one film! So I split the week into two – this is the first film covering Days 1-3:

The week ended on a real high at my weigh-in this morning with 6.5lbs gone – half a lb off half a stone!

Needless to say I feel so much better already – my stomach is flat(tish), I have more energy and my clothes are fitting more loosely.

Returning to the Exante products has literally been like meeting old friends again! Why I didn’t keep it going while ‘maintaining’ I will never know – I really could have replaced one meal every day with a product and that would have helped. I know now that is what I need to do to maintain, once I achieve my healthy goal weight of 146 lbs (10 stone 6lbs).

So I finished the week with this film.

I’ve been doing some affirmations recently (if you don’t know what they are, check out this article which explains all about them and gives some good examples you can use).

I’ve been reminding myself that:

“I am strong, focused and self-disciplined” because these are three areas I figured I needed some reminding about.

This week, I’ve felt stronger, more focused and more self-disciplined than ever. I actually feel that I am going to get to goal, and I’ve never, ever felt that certainty before.

Many successful people swear by the power of affirmations, but I have to admit I’ve never done them rigidly enough before to give them chance to work.

Could it be that I am experiencing some of their magical effect?! Whatever it is, I like it!





Exante diet The Eternal Weight Battle! Weight loss YouTube vlog

I Should be Buzzing!

I really should! I should be yelling from the rooftops!

Last week was amazing, for three stunnalicious reasons:

Reason 1: Our house has sold!

For pretty much the asking price, meaning we will get some money to do up the property here and finally, finally, move forward.


Reason 2: I have finally reached the 11 stone bracket! (Just! – more on that later!)


Reason 3: I employed someone who I think is going to take our business to a whole new level!

The lovely Carla started as our VA (Virtual Assistant) on Wednesday and I could not take the smile off my face! She’s just fab, and the questions she was asking made me realise that with her energy and expertise we are set to fly!

So why am I not screeching with happiness?

No particular reason, really. Except that we (Dean and I) are both just exhausted.

We’ve just spent another weekend back at our old home, clearing it out ready for the sale, which completes – hopefully – next week (it was this week but the buyers pushed it back).

It is EXHAUSTING. Two hours drive each way, we’ve removed the built-in castle beds that Dean built for his boys, we’ve cleared the loft, cleared the garage… you name it, it’s been cleared.

And then there are so many little things, the things that seem to be never ending. We moved into that house in December, 2008, as a part time family of six. And although not all of Dean’s four children lived full time with us, it was a busy house. So many people coming and going, so much going on, not to mention dogs, rescued battery hens, rabbits, guinea pigs…

We’ve literally cleared tons of stuff out of that house. Toys, computers, clothes, socks, nerf guns, nerf gun bullets, old notebooks, piles and piles of bank papers, CDs, DVDs, videos, camping equipment, remote control cars, horsey stuff (mine), rat cages, bedding (SO much bedding!) – you name it, we’ve shifted it. As much as possible to charity/recycling.

Dean is going back there tomorrow so meet the charity people who are picking up the dining table and chairs and the welsh dresser. And then later in the week I will make the final journey back to do the last clean, read the meters and catch the goldfish in the pond (to relocate in my cousin’s pond). And then, hopefully oh hopefully, it will all be over and we’ll have some money in the bank.

Here is my solemn promise: I will never, EVER have so much STUFF in my life again!

Granted, I’ll probably never have a family with young children again, but even so, I am living streamlined from now on. You read it here first! Too many possessions weigh you down, sitting heavy like a solid chain around your neck when you want to move on.

So in between trips to the other side of the country and working with Carla to help her get her head around our business and Xero, the online accounting system we use, there hasn’t been too much time for weight loss. But I did manage to stick to the wonderful Exante Diet for nearly three days – Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday (broke it with a meal of Quorn fillets and salad, followed by a hot chocolate). Thursday was a food day, Friday was 100% back on it and I weighed in on Saturday as I knew I wouldn’t be here on Sunday.

11 stone 13 lbs and three-quarters! Woohoo! I’ve done it, made it into the 11s!

Not the biggest loss, granted, but I think I am accepting by now that I probably won’t be losing the next 21 3/4 lbs in huge leaps – unless I find a sudden burst of willpower this one will limp along. But, even a limper can reach the finishing line, I just have to make sure I keep going!

We might just need to sleep for a month first, which actually would probably be great for weight loss ๐Ÿ˜‰

(Here’s my latest vlog, I can’t believe how exhausted I look throughout most of it, my apologies!)









Attitude of Gratitude Being thankful Exante diet Running Running with dogs The Eternal Weight Battle! Weight loss

The 20 lbs milestone

I’m feeling quite pleased with myself. Down 1 lb at my weigh in today, bringing my total weight loss since January to… 20 lbs!!

So my weight today is 12 stone 2 (170 lbs) down from 13 stone 8 (190 lbs) at that first weigh in – and ONCE AGAIN I have found myself feeling eternally grateful that I discovered the Exante Diet!

Thanks Exante Diet!

(Just in case you’re catching up, there was no weight loss going on from around January 26 through March 12, so all the loss has happened in just 7 weeks, 2 in January and 5 just gone).

I COULD have lost lots more. Although I am finding the Exante Diet to be excellent, I am only managing a few days when I am completely sticking to just three products a day, the Exante optimum weight loss plan. I’m not even sticking to the Exante-products-plus-a-little-bit-of-food plan, because I haven’t read the instructions.

I’m just bumbling along, doing the best I can and eating when I feel I need to, plus occasionally when I don’t, generally making good food choices and sometimes making really bad ones.

I reckon I could lose 3 lbs a day on Exante if I was strict, but I just don’t seem to have it in me. But, a loss of 20 lbs is taking me close to my target weight loss of 44 lbs so I’m pretty pleased. There’s no way I would have got this far if it wasn’t for Exante.


So today I spotted the cutest little spring dress in a shop window. On May 3rd – just two and a half weeks away – a friend has asked me to speak at an event he is organising. Terrifying – or at least it will be once I let myself think about it!

But what will make it slightly less terrifying will be if I don’t have to be worrying about my weight when I am standing in front of a roomful of people.

So I’ve decided, if I am not going to be able to fully limit my eating, I need to crank up the exercise.

This evening I replaced the dog walk with a run. Ok, let me rephrase that – a run/walk/breathless stagger kind of run.

Running was tough today. I got my period this morning so I’m stocked up with painkillers and I got so cold sitting upstairs working, I was half-tempted to cut the run short after the first 10 minutes. But the dogs need the exercise, and so I stuck it out, and sure enough managed to finish strong.

When we got back I had Dean take these photos. They’re not exactly flattering, but they should serve as useful for when I reach my goal another 24 lbs down the line. I didn’t take many photos back in January but looking at these it’s probably a good job I didn’t! At least Foxy and Frankie look completely gorgeous!!

I’ve been feeling quite skinny recently but looking at these will help remind me I still have a long way to go – I shall keep them to refer to for inspiration whenever I have a weak moment!

I never realised quite how fantastic running with dogs would be. We’ve only been a few times but we all love it (at least I do when I can breathe!) and I would say it has brought us closer together. I really hope I keep it up.

Here’s today’s video:

Keep on keeping on, folks!










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How to Stay Motivated?

O.M.G. I do love Gary Vee!

So I just came across this short little video and if you have ever, EVER, found yourself lacking even the tiniest bit of motivation, you need to watch this:

Are these the three lines that win the Internet 2017?

“How do you keep yourself motivated?”

“By remembering that you might die tomorrow.”

“That’s true.”

GAAAAAH!!!! Thank you Gary!

So today I’m hitting the edit suite while the rest of the country enjoy a long weekend – I’ll be cutting and creating for the next four days.ย  Eating 100% Exante products. Because I actually could die tomorrow, and all this would be over, without me doing what I need to do or being what I want to be.

And THAT’S the scariest thought of all!

Stay motivated, folks!




Change your life Change your Mindset Exante diet Positive action Running The Eternal Weight Battle! Weight loss

Exante Diet update

The vlcd Exante Diet is going well – almost too well in fact. As in, when it feels this easy, surely that’s the danger zone?

I feel amazing – so much energy, flat(ish) stomach and already waking up earlier and, um, livelier, if that is even a thing.

I am probably in low ketosis (where my body is burning fat, not just carbs) and the difference to living in a high-carb state is phenomenal.

I’m still hitching a ride on the raised energy levels of these beautiful early spring days – but hey, whatever works!

Last night I even took Foxy and Frankie for a run using my new double lead which I bought on Amazon which attaches, rather cleverly, around my waist. I expected them to run ahead of me, pulling me all over but they did brilliantly, as though we had been doing it for years! (Which of course means I now have no excuse not to run with them!)* (silent groan)

I had a few issues with the double lead, but on the whole it worked well, and it was great having my hands and arms free while running. Very liberating!

Running for Weight Loss

If you are considering taking up running, I really, really recommend it. It’s cheap, pretty easy-ish and it can give a major boost to your fitness and confidence.

I have no running physique – big boobs, short legs – seriously if I can do it I reckon most other people can too.

Years ago when I first started running I could barely last 100 yards. But then I found a great programme which advised starting out by running 1 minute, walking 1 minute, then repeat 10 times. I did this, running very, very slowly at first, gradually building up the length of running time and decreasing walking time.

I was so embarrassed I ran at night time for the first few months, wearing black. It was more important that I was not seen by anyone than it was not to be hit by a car!

The really good news is that it actually doesn’t take long to get to a point where you can run for 25 minutes-ish. THAT is so empowering it will boost you in every way imaginable!

And, best news of all, once you reach a certain level of fitness, it seems that stays with you. I haven’t run in months, and yet last night I ran probably just under a mile and a half.

Before I started running there was no way I could have run that distance, but yesterday it was no issue at all. I could have run much more, if I’m honest, but I didn’t want to give my body and legs too much of a shock on the first go!

Going public…

So last night I took the terrifying step of posting my vlog about Day One of Exante on the Exante Facebook page.

Even though I am not anonymous I haven’t exactly shouted about what I’m up to, so it was seriously scary! But, there’s nothing like exposing your secrets to the world to keep you accountable – and I really hope by posting here and on my YouTube channel that will keep me accountable in those weak moments!

I’ve been overweight for over a decade and it is time to reclaim my life – and if that means drastic measures then so be it.

Anyway, here’s how days 2 and 3 went…



Project: Life Success

Changing career aged 40+, learning about and building my own business, losing weight, building passive income & finally making a success of my life!